Friday, April 20, 2007

Friday Morning Commute

When you have a sticker on your vehicle that says "Big pipes saves lives", you loose credibility (if you had any) when you drive a 1995 Ford explorer which looks like the paint resented the rest if the vehicle by peeling itself off causing what we call in Minnesota a rust bucket.

I don't want to name names but Collins Construction van, thank god you were able to speed up and merge in front of me before the left hand lane ended heading north on hwy 77. You were able to squeeze your big red shaggin' waggin' between me and another commuter this morning even though there was a 10 car gap just behind me you passed up. Congratulations you saved 38 seconds on your commute.

For every Minnesotan...Left lane fast, right lane slow. Let me rinse and repeat. LEFT LANE FAST, RIGHT LANE SLOW!!!! If you notice you are going the same speed as the vehicle to the right of you, this is a STRONG indication that you are in the WRONG lane.

Now let’s talk about merging. It is not my job to slow down or speed up to let you on a 70 mph freeway which you chose to enter at 45 mph. If you continue to choose to enter freeways at these slow speeds you will continue to ride the shoulder like a dumb ass.

White Cadillac in my rearview mirror. If I were to slam on my brakes, you would not have enough time to react and will be eating my rear bumper. As the bumper sticker saying goes "Unless your a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.".

Listening to Mudvayne on the commute to work relieves much stress.

-MikeyB

3 comments:

Guacaholic said...

Ohmigod, I have had the same kind of commute every day this week. I have been tempted SO MANY TIMES to slam on my brakes so that the jackbag riding my bumper totals my car. What's the deal with everyone? Is there some spring aggression going on?

Captain Random said...

Good story and one I can relate too. On my way into work today I just about got rear-ended 3 times by a white Dodge Durango that wanted desperately to play a game of bumper tag. I finally decided to hit the brakes and he got the message.

The only problem this guy didn't realize is I can only go as fast as the guy in front of me, and riding my ass isn't going to solve the problem. So get off my bumper!!

Rush hour traffic is sooooo frustrating!!

Corey said...

Oh, yeah...on my drive to work today....nothing happened. HA HA!! 2 mile round trip, oh how I love thee.

 
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