The Hat

This is my hat. There are many like it but this one is mine. My hat is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my hat is useless. Without my hat I am useless. I must wear my hat true. I must wear it straighter than my enemy, who is trying to scare me. I must scare him before he scares me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my hat and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.